17 mars 2005, 16:04
Bobby J’s Retirement
The president of our Board is retiring from his law enforcement job tomorrow, and though I think it is rather presumptuous of him to hold a party on St. Patty’s Day, I will be attending tonight’s free meal.
My office mate Erin just came down the hall, panicked because my boss had asked her to write “some words” for her to say at the party. This guy has been at CFM for quite a while and is quite a prominent figure in the community, so this was a pretty big deal. So, being the good friend that I am (and that it is the end of the day and I am bored of my stats), I offered to help her. Below are the two options I dictated, and both came complete with action prompts and voice cues (what is that word? the italics part of plays?). Erin was panicked to show these to Lianna, but after reminding her several times that I had written them, she finally did. It seems that option 2 is the one she’ll be using.
Option 1
Dear Bob,
I have been waiting six years to tell you this. I feel that it is finally time for you to know the truth. The work you have done for CFM over the past few years has been ridiculously incompetent. You show up early for meetings, seemingly just to waste my time and ramble on about police business that really I couldn’t care less about. I am glad that you are finally retiring so that maybe you will stop annoying me with this mind-numbing, talk. Additionally, that green coat just didn’t match those beige pants you wore at the fashion show. You should have had the balls to tell Sears as much. Hopefully now that you have some spare time, you can return to high school and learn some of the social skills in which you are severely lacking. All the best old man.
Option 2
Dear Bob,
I have been waiting six years to tell you this. I feel that it is finally time for you to know the truth. I love you. I have loved you since the day you first interviewed me. Your comments about my big hair and weak handshake didn’t hurt me even though it was my knees and heart that were actually shaking. I went home that day not thinking about CFM, but about how I could manage to wrangle you from your wife’s clutches. Now that you are retired, we will be able to meet by secret rendezvous under the guise of continued CFM efforts. I cannot wait to forge this affair. All the best dear man.