08 July 2004, 16:37
The Other (Real?) Me
I am a good kid. At least, I try to be. Everytime I go somewhere new, I pretend to be nice and well behaved and well, good. However, it seems the real me inevitably surfaces eventually. Actually, Project Houston was my most successful attempt to date. I almost made it the whole 3 months without partying. I thought it was going to work out too. In fact, it was pretty easy. Practically everybody I knew was associated with one of my ball teams, making conversations and events slip easily into sports and movies and shopping and the likes. Predictable, but still fun.
Of course, as you may have gathered, I failed once again. I don't know what it is about me that causes the bad kids to seek me out. How do they know I like to party? And, how can they tell that the kid sitting by the water, dressed business casual, reading a book about personality development is actually someone who should be at a punk rock festival, dressed in skater clothes, reading High Times? Help. I don't have time to be that person. I have a draft of my so-called thesis due on Monday and I can't afford to stay out until 4am every night. I want to be good!
Somewhat related (in my head, at least) is my problem with the student I am working with. She is so cute and I love her, but she is as dumb as a brick sometimes. She is debutante-ing this year, which I discovered, much to my chagrin, actually happens in real life. Anyway, her boyfriend just came to pick her up on his bicycle to take her out for dinner. Their conversation went something like this:
- Oh sweetheart. So nice to see you. I love you so much
- Ooh. I love you too baby.
- This day has gone by so slowly without you around to help pass the time (they live in the same dorm and saw each other this morning)
- Well don't worry. I won't let you out of my sight tonight
And you know what I was thinking the whole time: 'What is wrong with these people?' This kind of worries me. What has made me so cynical that I hate a 20 year debutante because she is in love?