21 May 2004, 14:23
Best Buy Belligerence
I like to play ignorant customer, particularly in the hardware store, but this time it led to a bit of trouble. I was wandering around Best Buy checking out digital cameras when a 5th customer service rep approached me. I was annoyed, so I decided to ask him about MP3 players. After expending a great deal of energy trying to convince him that an extra 400$ was not worth the added reliability of an IPod, I had to struggle to get him to shut up about the value of extended warranties. Nothing was working, so I had to use the I’m-moving-to-France-in-a-month-so-it-wouldn’t-be-worth-it-tactic. The conversation that ensued is summarized as follows:
- So, you’re moving to France huh. Why would you go there?
- School
- I wouldn’t go to France if it were the last liveable place on earth
- Uh-huh
- I’d go to the Mediterranean or to Italy so I could eat that good food all day. They can’t have good food like that in France.
- It depends what you like, I guess. So, does this one come with headphones?
- My wife sent a Christmas card to her friends in France. It came back with a French stamp on it that we had to send away to get translated. It cost us 20 bucks to find out her friends had moved.
- (Is this guy kidding? Why did he waste 20$? That’s like 10$ per word, ‘adresse inconnue.’ Wasn’t it obvious why the letter came back? )
- They sent the letter back with a French stamp. Can you believe it? You think they would’ve known that everyone here speaks English.
- ( some grunt of some sort )
- Ya. I hate those French people. Obviously they all know English, so why don’t they just speak it?
- MmmHmmm. That seems to be the attitude around here. Right, so . . .
- I’m from New York and I agree that they are rednecks around here, but this is one thing I agree with them on. Those stupid French wouldn’t help us with the war. With their help we could’ve blasted those *#&@ $** @&*&# ( insert appropriate words here ) in no time
- (Interesting. Very unprofessional. I wonder what his supervisor would think about this conversation. Oh look – he is a manager. Even more interesting. )
- Stupid Germans and Canadians and . . . ( so on – this went on for quite a while and included a discourse on freeloading Canadians, several very rude and racist comments, and even more swears )
- Okay, so does this one come with the car adapter (Please stop talking. You are really annoying and people are staring. )
- We should just blast some of those folks in those other dumb countries while we’re at it. We don’t need any help.
- (Isn’t that why you’re mad in the first place – because you didn’t get the help you wanted? ) Well. Thanks for all your help. I’ll just . . .
- Ya those **#% *%#@ ( again, insert as appropriate ). Did you decide on the extended warranty? It will be worth it for when you come back from France. You are coming back right?
- Actually, I will probably go home instead. Back to Canada.
The look on his face was priceless. It was the best part of my day. That was, at least, until the guy at the pool tried to sell me his wife!
And, on that note, I want to wish all my wonderful Canadian friends a HAPPY 24 WEEKEND. I wish I could be there to go real camping with y'all (even despite spring fire bans that I have spent my life complaining about)